Things A castlevania character would never say By: Fragraham Lincon Carrie Fernandez: Just becuase my name is Carrie and I have supernatural powers does not mean I have anything to do with that damn movie. Sonya bellmont: Call me QUEEN! Alucard: (writes his name backwards) Well I'll be damned. Dracula: (preparing to awaken from 100 years of sleep) Awe five more minutes. Simon Belmont: (anything) Trevor: When the hell am I getting another game? Death: Pink is sooooo my color Ortega: I am not to be confused with a popular brand of salsa any Belmont when Dracula makes an entrance: Okay I give up. Shaft: You damn right Alucard: Sephiroth owes me some major royalties Frankenstein: FOR THE LAST TIME! My name is Frankenstein'S MONSTER not just Frankenstein random skeleton: Man I'm hungry Dracula: I need a lightlight or I'll have nightmares Dracula: Well I got beat by a Belmont again so I guess I should settle down for another hundred years of sleep. Now where's Mr.Fuzzums? Simon: This outfit is kind of kinky if you think about it Dracula: Why am I so mean? I'll tell you. It's been a thousand years since I got a piece of ass! Henry: I ran out of ammo Death: Yes I bribed the game designers into giving me those cool ass wings Carrie: Why is that the random skeleton has a bigger fan following than me. Random Skeleton: Because I'm in 2D Carrie: Oh stop living in the past. Random Skeleton: You should talk what with the way you go on about your familly being murdered by...AAAHHH! Carrie: (Blows skeleton to tiny pieces with a magic ball) Vampire maid: No actually I'm not a maid Dracula just makes me wear this because he's a pervert. Actrise: I Soooooooo got cheated out of that role on Friends. Reinhardt: I'm out of hair gell NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Cornell: (Scratches) Damn fleas Ada: Why do I die in every fanfic I appear in? Death: (places hand on ada's shoulder) Ada: Awe crap not again. Madusa: Where's my curling iron? game disigner: No actually the water isn't poison I just didn't want to take the time to make a swimming animation. Dracula: I'd like to announce that I'm retiring from Evil. I just can't compete with the likes of Microsoft and AOL. Reinhardt: 3D CASTLEVANIA DOES NOT SUCK! Ferryman: I'm trading in this old tub for a yacht. Richter: SHORYUKEN!!! Death: I want Hilde to love me not Duo. I'm the real god of death. Bone dragon: (eats simon.) Simon: (Falls through bone dragon's ribs and runs away) Bone Dragon: Damn. Carrie: (in legecy of Darkness outfit) I am Sailor Carrie and in the name of Transylvania I will punnish you (performs a cool looking attack involving sparkly backgrounds and hearts that destroys a monster) Alucard: heheh. Fan speculations says I banged Sonya Belmont. Trevor: Hey watch what you say about my mom! Alucard: Quiet son respect your elders Trevor: (Shoves a stake through Alucard's heart) Alucard: What's happened to the familly these days. AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!! Charlie Vincent: (smacks a vampire with a big rare steak) What the hell? Who's been messing around with my equipment? (carrie and Reinhardt giggle) Simon: The holy whip of my ancestry, the legendary weapons the daggar, axe, holy water, and the cross. I'd trade em all for a decent pair of pants. Medusa head: (singing) I aint got no body. Alucard's hand: Hey let me out of this glove Alucard: Quiet you no one suspects my true identity. Group of skeletons: Hey dracula we want a raise. Dracula: Well I already RAISED you from the dead. Skeletons: Not good enough. Skeletons got rights too ya know Dracula: I'm not listening to any more of this. Skeletons: THAT'S IT WE'RE GOING ON STRIKE! Next time a Belmont comes through here see if we lift a bone to help. Dracula: Death where the Hell are you going? Death: Sorry but I am the Skeleton union's president Dracula: Damn these modern times. Cornell: REALEASE ADA! Dracula: Does she mean that much to you? She's not even your real sister. Cornell: First you stole my meatball sub. Then my bag of doritos. Now you've kidnapped Ada. What is it that compells you to steal my snacks? Henry: (in end of LoD) Ah sunshine....no wait let me rephrase that. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH SUNSHINE!!!!! (burns to a cindar) Cornell: I guess I didn't get him out in time. Skeleton on motorcycle: Get yer motor runnin' Head out on the highway! Reinhardt: (after watching dracula's final form make its entrance) Excuse me a minute. Drac: Where are you going? Reinhardt: To change my pants. Cornell: (fighting drac's final form gets blasted into the air) Drac: (waits for Cornell to come down) I didn't hit him that hard did I? Astronaut in orbit: Huston we have......I swear to God I'm not making this up, a Warewolf! Sypha: Life's a bitch then you get turned into a statue. Axe knigth: TIMBER!